The Playlist for Episode 1
These 10 songs are most likely the most played songs in my library the past few years. Some are super emotional for me for a lot of different reasons. I have always expressed myself through music so I thought it was fitting to share these 10 songs that have gotten me through. This is a super vulnerable playlist and I hope you enjoy it or find something for yourself.
This song has been my favorite since it dropped. Besides the song just being executed perfectly, the lyrics really hit me hard. I have made so many sacrifices in my life to have the life that I want and I am still making bloody sacrifices. I have also witnessed people all around me make cut throat sacrifices. Jarrell never went home during college just to double down on his goal to make it as a professional basketball player and it paid off. I love when Cole’s second verse, “She gave me a family to love, for that, I can never repay. I’m crying while writing these words, the tears, they feel good on my face.” Jarrell and I are blessed to build what we are building together and both of us get it. Takes sacrifices but we got it.
Kendrick really blessed me with this album. It is so vulnerable and honest. This song gives me some confidence and reminds me of my purpose. As much as I may post on social media I am not a huge fan of its impact on our youth. When he said I would never live my life for the computer, I felt that. I pray to God, you actually pray when somebody dies. Thoughts and prayers, way better off timelines… COME ON!!!! This song just explains everything I feel about what’s going on in our world of social media.
Not in a Hurry (Live) - Will Reagan & United Pursuit
This was a song that I listened to a lot while we were in Russia. I needed God’s strength to get through the long cold days. Russia was not a bad experience purely because it was the season that I doubled down on trusting God. There’s something about actually hearing him and ignoring him. I feel like while we were in Russia I had to really open my ears and open my eyes. I had to realize that I’m not in a hurry and I don’t wanna use my own strength anymore and I want to completely just trust in the strength that God gives me. When he says I want to love like you, wow.
I really love this song and what it means to Stormzy, his musical career and his life in general. Jarrell played this song so much when it first came out, so whenever I am needing to feel his presence a little more I play this song. I also love Stormzy’s interview with Rick Rubin. When he played him this song I could just feel how powerful it was. It was really beautiful to witness. It’s also a long song and I love love love long songs. Everything about this song is great.
My Life - J. Cole, 21 Savage & Morray
I love this song for many different reasons. First, I love this entire album and what it meant to Cole’s legacy. My dad is also from Fayetteville, North Carolina and when we would visit, it always put things into perspective for me. Simple things as in bars on the windows and doors, that made other people feel unsafe it did not phase me. It helped me understand my dad’s work ethic and why he was so set on wanting more. I just like what this song means to the three artists and what it would mean to my dad because a lot of his friends aren’t here today and a lot of people that I grew up with aren’t here either. It’s just something about making it out. I have lost a good amount of people from my hometown in the past few years and I just think about what my life would’ve been like if I fell to the left. This song makes me feel really good about my work ethic, and my mentality of always wanting more and better for myself.
This is this song that I played way too many times after I graduated from college. This song means a lot to me. Honestly, it is a song I play whenever those suicidal thoughts creep in. This song itself doesn’t really reflect suicidal thoughts but it’s just crazy how Mac wrote this song and he dies shortly. I felt like he was so content in his life, there was this peace that is almost scary. That peace right before transition. I don’t really know why this song helps me so much. I think I intend it to be my last song I hear and then it punches me in the face and tells me to get up. Now when I play it I am comfortable with knowing how much the song has helped me and how far I have come.
Never Lost - Tribal & Maverick City Music
Never Lost is a song that I like for so many different reasons; the vocals, the lyrics everything, it's so good. When Joe L Barnes says he’s seated in heavenly places with the one who has conquered it all, I truly feel that on so many different levels. It is such a powerful thing to say and to believe. When Lizzie says you want to know how I know I see it with my own eyes that is just brings me to tears every single time because I’ve seen it over and over and over again and there’s so many things that I’m still seeing through but I know they will be seen through and that is just powerful. So many things that the only answer is God did that. I love all of their vocals on this song, so beautiful and powerful.
I have been obsessed with Nigerian artists for a minute now. I love their sound, the connection to God and their culture in general. Before this song was everywhere, I played this song over and over and over. It is that one song I want to be 5 minutes longer. It is a beautiful song and her vocals are so soothing.
Highs and Lows - Jace Emmanuel
Put this down as one of the top 20 songs in my life for sure. The lyrics are exactly what I feel whenever I’m stuck second-guessing myself. It is everything to me when it comes to work ethic, what I want people to see me as, what it means to me to put out projects, everything. I value this song for its messaging and the work the artist puts into his craft. It’s not easy to be vulnerable and make music especially when people see you one way, so I just appreciate this song on so many different levels.
This is a song I played a lot during a season of questioning every single thing in my life, for no reason other than overthinking and not trusting God’s plan. I was second-guessing everything, second-guessing getting married, second-guessing being a mom and not because I don’t love it but because I didn’t know where I fit anymore. I felt kind of stuck in my role and I didn’t see the beauty in it anymore. I felt this song when she says that you have to let go and that used to scare me because I felt that a little too much. I am totally completely over those feelings because I realize what they actually mean. I know that they were just fears and I was in the season of being uncomfortable. It’s unrealistic to think you will never second guess yourself or feel secure 100% of the time. This season of my life shaped me into becoming the mom and wife, and person that I am today.
